I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
