Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
