Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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