I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
