Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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