No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
