when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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