Where are you?
In a non slutty way
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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