Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
