just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
