have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
