i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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