Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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