this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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