You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
