put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize