Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
