IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
