There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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