i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
