I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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