She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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