i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
