Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
