I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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