she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
