Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
