Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
