bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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