Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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