this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
