Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
