I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I need water and some morals
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize