Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
