Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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