I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
