Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
