great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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