Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
