have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
