Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
