I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
