All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
