Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
