Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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