My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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