we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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