Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize
