yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
