So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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