I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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