Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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