none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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