I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
