is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
