i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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