Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
vagina is talking i cant
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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