hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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