Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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