hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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