I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
