Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
