I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
