I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
