Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
