i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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