so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Say something about gay babies.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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