Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i dont even know how to be here
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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